Happy not-quite

 

 

Next year sweetheart, next year.

8 hours

So there I was, staying up too late and suffering in the morning. Five hours of sleep meant I was tired and groggy. Then the weekends would come, and I'd sleep in. Ten hours of sleep later, and I was still groggy. Too much is as bad as too little.

So let's show some self-discipline. Set a bedtime, same time every day. Set a wake up time, same time every day. Hold myself to it. Then I get that magic number, eight hours of sleep.

But I did it wrong. I slept on the wrong side, I breathed too hard, I had a bad dream. Good sleep is a casualty of my 40's.

Built in sitter

So my offspring are getting old enough that they can be left alone for longer periods of time. We started experimenting with leaving the older ones home alone awhile ago, but recently I've been leaving the younger ones in the care of the younger ones, and it's been succesful.

So far.

Every time we leave the kids alone for any real amount of time, I get worried that one of them is going to try some food prep with a knife and things go sideways, and-

I'll stop there. My imagination runs wild, and I honestly don't give them enough credit. They're smarter than I realize, and I get nervous when I actually trust them.

I didn't expect the growing pains to be mine.

The number five

So a few weeks ago, I realized that when I write the number five, it looks bad. I don't know what went on in my brain, but the way I've been writing it suddenly disagreed with me. It was sloppy and looked like a drunk S. 

My brain switched gears. I always started it on the top right, drawing the top of the five with a stroke to the left, then dropping it down and finishing off the number. With absolutely no planning or conscious thought, I started from the left and dropped the pen down, then picked it up and added the top line separately. 

All my handwriting is starting to change and I wonder if I'll be able to match my own signature soon.

The old cake mix

I was helping my Opa clear out some stuff in his house, and he gave me a handful of boxed cake mixes. He doesn't use those, so they went with me. Just looking at the dates, it's obvious that he doesn't use those.

This one says "Best if used by April 22 2013"

My aunt and uncle who were present at the time recoiled, the contents of that particular pantry having been stocked and subsequently forgotten by the late Joanne, and we cleaned out what we could.

I didn't throw it out. I decided to see if it was still good.

I know what you're thinking. That's gross, right? I can understand, but hear me out. You can find YouTube videos of people finding, and then eating, old food products. Tuna from 1865 was discovered and tested, finding it was still safe to eat. 

Some foods, namely fresh food like fruit, milk, etc, absolutely have a time limit on them. Your nose will tell you. But the rest of it can last much longer than the label. Heck, the date on the label is a legal requirement. If the company makes a batch, keeps it in storage for a year, and it's safe to eat a year later, they can label their foods as good for one year. If they keep it for two and it still tests good, they can say two years on the label. Most companies don't do that because storage takes up space, and who's going to keep food that long?

Oregon Freeze Dry, that's who.

They make Mountain House freeze dried foods. Great for camping, even if a little pricey. Their labels, as of this writing, say the food is good for thirty years.

Knowing this about food, especially dry food laced with preservatives, I decided to take that cake mix and put it to the test.

See that? Right where it says April 2013? And right below it was the finished product, baked in 2023.

The dry mix passed the sniff test, so I went ahead and added what it called for, while deciding on the bundt pan. It wasn't the most aromatic when baking, but it was a 'classic white', so that was to be expected.

I ate it. It was good. I survived with no side effects or other negative repercussions. Go ahead Pillsbury, tell people it's good for ten years.