Shopping cart scandal

Grocery store layouts are fairly predicable. You grab your cart and go in, and you're slowly clattering along tile as you're led straight into the produce and bakery. I heard that they use this thick tile to slow people down so they don't rush their empty carts through to the rest of the store - the margins on fresh stuff are pretty low and they gotta move it fast, so they want to slow you down. But I disagree. People are gonna get what they want. I know why they have such obnoxious flooring in the beginning of the store. Because once you get into the rest of the store, with its nice smooth floor, you're already loaded up when you discover that your cart has a retarded wheel.

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You see, the awkward tile floor is meant to hide your malfunctioning shopping cart, tricking you into sticking with it until it's too cumbersome to replace. Yea that's right. So now instead of merrily shopping along, joyfully spending more than I should, I'm babysitting a derpy wheel on a shopping clunker that's only serving to annoy me right out of the store. Instead of "I need to go to aisle 3b to get band-aids" it's "I CLUNK need CLUNK to CLUNK go CLUNK home, I need to go home. Forget this nonsense"

My generation isn't even the one with sensory issues. No, I'm just the old man that's annoyed at being saddled with a mistake that should be taken out back and thrown into a crusher. 

(That's a real thing. I once worked in a grocery store that had a masher in the back for garbage)

I've gone so far as to pop wheelies on carts just to shut them up. I've leaned them over so the offending wheel wasn't on the floor any more. (There's a reason I only do any shopping in the wee hours of the morning, I don't need those looks any more. No I will not describe them)

I'm glad my local stores have brought the hand baskets back. They hid those when people got worried about getting sick or something. At least if those are faulty, they won't work at all.

At least I hope not.