Binanas

So this girl walks into the lobby...

Wait, back up. Let's rewind to last week.

It's one in the morning. The phone rings, and it's this girl that wants to confirm her reservation. She booked it online, and wanted to make sure we got it.

Um... ok. Whatever.

Then she has a world of questions. Innocuous questions about how to get there from whatever transit hub you came in from, where she can get plastered, ect. Of course, she asks when the earliest she can check in. What really got me was how many times she asked me what my name was. I think it was four times. This girl clearly wanted to know.

Everything she asked was printed out when she made her reservation. She didn't need to call. I wanted to call her a retard, I really did.

I simply told her our check in time was at 3. You know where this is going, right? Of course you do, this is a lot of buildup.

So at three in the morning, this piece of ghetto trash rolls in and wants her room.

Full house, girl, and check out is at noon. You gotta wait, because I'm not kicking anyone out. Her natural response, of course, is to completely flip.

And this is why she wanted to know my name.

"Now, I talked to SALTINE *slaps her hand on the counter*, and SALTINE *slaps her hand on the counter* told me I could check in at 3, and SALTINE *slaps her hand on the counter* assured me I had a room here when I called you from...

new...YORK...CITY!

now I called here at 12 from the bus and talked to the manager and he said I could check right in"

Allow me to interject here. At 12, there were only 3 of us in the hotel. 2 auditors and security. Clearly, one of us has a split personality, and has been promoted.

I wanted to call her on her obvious stupidity, but my associate took over (and later informed me that this was a rather common scam, where they try to check in at some scary early hour to score the room an extra day) and simply stuck to the rules. He didn't relent, and once she realized this, in proper ghetto fashion (complete with the wagging finger)

"Dis is binanas. B-I-N-A-N-A-S, bi-nanas!"