The side door - do not use it.

Sometimes I just don't have anything to write about.

I live in a neighborhood where most, if not all, of the houses have a side door adjacent the driveway. I have come to loathe the side door. If it were a back door, it would be great. (The entire layout of the house would change, for one) But no, it's on the side, and some people think it's an option.

No, you silly people, it's not an option. I've missed packages I was waiting for (waiting in a chair by the front door), because the delivery monkey walked it right to the side door, and walked away with it because I couldn't hear him knocking on an outer stairwell door. My upstairs neighbor just handed me a package he said was sitting in the stairwell for two days. Sitting there because the delivery ape just stuck it the storm door.

Thanks neighbor. You think you could have shown me that two days ago, when you first saw it?


To anyone that approaches my house: right in front of the house is a door, a door with my last name on it. Next to the door is a doorbell (one that works). If you use *that* door, you will be noticed, you will be heard. But if you walk halfway down my driveway and bang on a door far, far from where anyone in my home will hear it, don't be surprised if you walk away without having been heard.