The dad tax

I don't even tax my kids candy any more. After they soak the neighborhood, they simply pile a tribute in front of me.

The first iteration of candy begging (trunk or treat), my sons stopped halfway to gorge themselves while daughter kept going until there was nothing left to be had. The boys were obviously dismayed at their lack of judgement. 

Tonight pretty much played out the opposite. We hit one half of the neighborhood, and went home as we passed by it on our way to the other half. Everyone unloaded, and daughter wanted to stay home. In the end, everyone evened out.

Except me, I just got fatter.

School pictures

Can someone tell me why school pictures operate the way they do? I get it, they line up every kid in the school, trot them through the auditorium / gym / stage / whatever and everyone gets a pic for the various school publications, but...

Why do they charge what they do, and the way they do it?

At my kids school, you pick any overpriced package, and you get no proofs. You get one retake. You can't be there to make sure your kids hair is actually straight or their shirt didn't get juice dumped on it in lunch 10 minutes before.

My point is, these photographers are acting like it's still the 70's, and they're the only one in town with a camera. Every year, I've been nothing but disappointed in the school photos. I can get a better shot on my phone in my basement. This racketeering must end.

Conspiracy theory

Some people like mystery movies, some people watch true crime dramas, I like conspiracy theories. The 1997 Mel Gibson movie wasn't bad, but I'm talking about your tightly fitted tinfoil hat reptillian overlord nutjobs.

It's pure entertainment, and it's getting harder to find.

Why is it entertaining? Simple, some of it turns out to be true. Go back to the 60's and tell people the government has secret spy planes invisible to radar, or that they're performing mind control experiments. You'll get laughed out of the room. But the SR-71 and MKULTRA weren't declassified yet, so people didn't realize that yes, it was true. That's what I find so entertaining: something in there might actually be true.

Why is it hard to find? YouTube decided to change their algorithm so it never promoted any conspiracy theory videos, while making it a broad enough category to sweep in almost anything.

They're still out there, but finding them is like panning for gold.

The apples and whatnot

Ah yes, the yearly tradition of taking Columbus day off work and going apple picking. Also visiting a pumpkin patch.

My oldest loves apples, so he's enjoying himself. The wife already made a batch of apple butter, prompting the question from my second born, "why does she always turn it into something else?"

Kid, you guys don't eat them fast enough before they go bad.

The best worst timing, or, a tale of dental convenience.

I had a dentist appointment. Or rather, a followup. I had a cavity that needed taking care of (I wasn't flossing). The appointment was in the morning, and not an hour beforehand, I was flossing. (Because I wasn't flossing before). While doing so, the floss got stuck.

It went in, and wouldn't go out. It wasn't just loose floss I could slide out, this was a flosser. 

See that guy? One of those was stuck in between my teeth. But it's just minty string, so I gave it a good pull, expecting it to break.

Nope. Turns out, it was stuck on a loose filling (remember how I wasn't flossing before?). No, I gave it a good pull and the filling came out instead. I gave the dentist a heads up, and within 2 hours of losing a filling, it was replaced.

Of all the timing.