School internot

My kids had an impromptu half day of school because the district had network issues.

Yes. The internet went down and they sent them home.

They just had a week off, and the district did an overhaul of their network equipment. It failed last week, and even after fixing it, it failed again today. Apparently their mandatory security is compromised without the network online, so they were sent home.

Whatever.

Just got an email from the schools - closed again tomorrow because it won't be back up by then.

They're thrilled. This has no effect on my life whatsoever. My wife, however, might find herself with a full house when she's not in the tax office.

Yearly downtime

Every year I get some type of illness that hits me first in my sinuses, then in my chest. About 80% of my random illnesses I can just push through with little to no consequence, but these yearly bouts are what amount to downtime and heavy training exercises for my immune system. I left work after only an hour on Friday. I went in Monday, but suffered through on cold medicine and caffeine (all the while my co workers were concerned for my well-being). Woke up Tuesday to find half of my body was on strike, and there was no crossing the picket line. After tough negotiation, we're most of the way there but there's no going anywhere today either.

At some point in my old age, I might have to move to a warmer climate so this yearly downtime won't be the death of me.

Unsnowed

I blog about the weather a lot, but nobody cares.

In the absence of my kids electronic babysitters, I've found myself needing to interact with them more. Don't get me wrong, they can certainly take care of themselves, but some of them simply choose not to.

Whatever.

They like going sledding, which is fine. They wear themselves out and they're outdoors for awhile. I even enjoy it at my age.

There's no friggin snow. There hasn't been. We got maybe two feet this entire season, and it's gone. I think it snowed a few weeks ago Monday, but it was gone by Wednesday morning. I can take the kids out, but I'd have better luck bringing a wagon and rolling them down a hill at this rate.

Meanwhile, my kids are starting to sound like Calvin.

Feral gaming

All things in moderation, or so we hear. My kids do not believe this. No, they want all the video games and they want them now. 

I enjoyed video games growing up, but my parents merely tolerated them. I would get a new one rarely, and my opportunities to play were limited. First by parental mandate, then just by the increasing demands of my busy life.

Then I had kids, and oh boy do I like to live vicariously. 

At first it was fine, we would play together (the early Lego games were notoriously kid friendly), but over time their tastes started to diverge from mine. And while I lack the same appreciation for the games they enjoy, I at least understand them.

Until they went feral.

When everything shut down four years ago, they had nothing to do and nowhere to go. It was all closed, so I simply unleashed what indoor entertainment I had and they let loose. Pulling back from that has been a gradual challenge, and a moderately unsuccessful one at that. As their own lives have grown busier what with clubs and other outside activities creeping into their lives, the dominance of screens has waned over the years, but we noticed it in their behavior.

They turned into monsters.

When they don't have an endless supply of the games, they turn into regular people. With them? They become unhinged devils. So I did what any maniac father would do and packed them all up.

It helps that all the games and consoles are mine, and I just let them use it. (You gave your kids a Switch? That was your mistake. I got myself one and reminded them that I merely let them use it)

That was a few weeks ago, and they're acting like normal people again, despite the daily whining from my oldest, blaming the behavior of his youngest brother, but that's almost expected.

We'll see how it goes.

Sticker Shock

My car needed an oil change (as they do). I don't put a lot of miles on my car, so the recommended ninety days usually passes faster than the mileage. Either way, the car never tells me there's a problem until it starts to sound like a diesel engine.

Then I realize I haven't been paying attention.

So I go to get the oil changed. They try to upsell and overcharge me on everything (as they do). When they get to the air filter, they have a point. It's filthy - far worse than I anticipated. But I LIED TO THEM and told them I had a spare at home and I'd swap it myself.

The spare was at an auto parts store on the way home. 

Buying the replacement air filter was a sour experience. One that I got to relish as I made the extra trip to the store and had to install it in the rain. The price of air filters had gone up considerably. Oh I still saved money, but I don't think that extra three dollars in my wallet was worth it.

The dance

So there I was, surrounded by people, everyone enjoying themselves (at least I came to that impression). The music was playing, and then the song changed.

A lifetime ago, I went swing dancing - a lot. I averaged about three times a week, and it was mostly Lindy Hop. It was a fun time in my life, and I think back to it from time to time. But I heard an awful lot of swing music, some of which I haven't heard since, despite my collecting as much of it as I could at the time.

The song changed. It was one of the old swing songs, one that I hadn't heard in a lifetime. I almost jumped out of my seat and tried to find a partner, but couldn't. Because I was at the gym. And I was wondering why they were playing swing music at 6 in the morning. All I could do was sit there, resting between sets, quietly being taken back in time.

Shopping cart scandal

Grocery store layouts are fairly predicable. You grab your cart and go in, and you're slowly clattering along tile as you're led straight into the produce and bakery. I heard that they use this thick tile to slow people down so they don't rush their empty carts through to the rest of the store - the margins on fresh stuff are pretty low and they gotta move it fast, so they want to slow you down. But I disagree. People are gonna get what they want. I know why they have such obnoxious flooring in the beginning of the store. Because once you get into the rest of the store, with its nice smooth floor, you're already loaded up when you discover that your cart has a retarded wheel.

😎😕

😎😎

You see, the awkward tile floor is meant to hide your malfunctioning shopping cart, tricking you into sticking with it until it's too cumbersome to replace. Yea that's right. So now instead of merrily shopping along, joyfully spending more than I should, I'm babysitting a derpy wheel on a shopping clunker that's only serving to annoy me right out of the store. Instead of "I need to go to aisle 3b to get band-aids" it's "I CLUNK need CLUNK to CLUNK go CLUNK home, I need to go home. Forget this nonsense"

My generation isn't even the one with sensory issues. No, I'm just the old man that's annoyed at being saddled with a mistake that should be taken out back and thrown into a crusher. 

(That's a real thing. I once worked in a grocery store that had a masher in the back for garbage)

I've gone so far as to pop wheelies on carts just to shut them up. I've leaned them over so the offending wheel wasn't on the floor any more. (There's a reason I only do any shopping in the wee hours of the morning, I don't need those looks any more. No I will not describe them)

I'm glad my local stores have brought the hand baskets back. They hid those when people got worried about getting sick or something. At least if those are faulty, they won't work at all.

At least I hope not.