Friday, October 29, 2021

School pictures

Can someone tell me why school pictures operate the way they do? I get it, they line up every kid in the school, trot them through the auditorium / gym / stage / whatever and everyone gets a pic for the various school publications, but...

Why do they charge what they do, and the way they do it?

At my kids school, you pick any overpriced package, and you get no proofs. You get one retake. You can't be there to make sure your kids hair is actually straight or their shirt didn't get juice dumped on it in lunch 10 minutes before.

My point is, these photographers are acting like it's still the 70's, and they're the only one in town with a camera. Every year, I've been nothing but disappointed in the school photos. I can get a better shot on my phone in my basement. This racketeering must end.

Monday, October 18, 2021

Conspiracy theory

Some people like mystery movies, some people watch true crime dramas, I like conspiracy theories. The 1997 Mel Gibson movie wasn't bad, but I'm talking about your tightly fitted tinfoil hat reptillian overlord nutjobs.

It's pure entertainment, and it's getting harder to find.

Why is it entertaining? Simple, some of it turns out to be true. Go back to the 60's and tell people the government has secret spy planes invisible to radar, or that they're performing mind control experiments. You'll get laughed out of the room. But the SR-71 and MKULTRA weren't declassified yet, so people didn't realize that yes, it was true. That's what I find so entertaining: something in there might actually be true.

Why is it hard to find? YouTube decided to change their algorithm so it never promoted any conspiracy theory videos, while making it a broad enough category to sweep in almost anything.

They're still out there, but finding them is like panning for gold.

Tuesday, October 12, 2021

The apples and whatnot

Ah yes, the yearly tradition of taking Columbus day off work and going apple picking. Also visiting a pumpkin patch.

My oldest loves apples, so he's enjoying himself. The wife already made a batch of apple butter, prompting the question from my second born, "why does she always turn it into something else?"

Kid, you guys don't eat them fast enough before they go bad.

Friday, October 8, 2021

The best worst timing, or, a tale of dental convenience.

I had a dentist appointment. Or rather, a followup. I had a cavity that needed taking care of (I wasn't flossing). The appointment was in the morning, and not an hour beforehand, I was flossing. (Because I wasn't flossing before). While doing so, the floss got stuck.

It went in, and wouldn't go out. It wasn't just loose floss I could slide out, this was a flosser. 


See that guy? One of those was stuck in between my teeth. But it's just minty string, so I gave it a good pull, expecting it to break.

Nope. Turns out, it was stuck on a loose filling (remember how I wasn't flossing before?). No, I gave it a good pull and the filling came out instead. I gave the dentist a heads up, and within 2 hours of losing a filling, it was replaced.

Of all the timing.

Thursday, September 30, 2021

The tree

My house came with a pair of trees in the back yard. One was a small red maple. The other was a large white maple. A gigantic, absolute monster of a tree. It was actually four trees that sprouted (or were planted) right next to each other. It was twice as tall as my house, and covered my yard. (It went well over the fence on each side, and stretched most of the length of the backyard)

I said was because I had it taken down a few weeks ago. 

On the outside, it looked healthy. Something felt off, though. The massive trunks swayed a little too much when the wind blew. The giant branches that occasionally came crashing down had no clear origin. (Seriously, I couldn't tell where they came off from) And they were big enough to cause damage. So down it went.

As the crew was chopping and hauling, I saw that some of the trunks were hollow. Others made an unsettlingly hollow clunking sound instead of a solidly reassuring thunk

When it came down, I felt both sad and relieved. The entire atmosphere of the back yard has changed. The stump was ground down a week later (the one they brought that day was too small) and a landscaper came by a couple days ago to grade and seed it. It's late in the season, so I don't expect the grass to fill this year. My dear wife wasn't happy to see it go. It could probably have lasted a few more years before it became a problem, but seeing the condition it was put me at ease. That tree wasn't going to last much longer, and the size of it, honestly if it hit my house it could have crashed right through the roof.

What I'm not going to miss? Taking care of the leaves. That thing held on until the end of November, then dropped them all in a single weekend. It was insane.

Wednesday, September 29, 2021

Caffeine

Ok I gotta tell you, weaning myself off caffeine is not easy. Oh sure, I've done it before, but then as my poor choices kick in again and I find myself unable to get up in the morning without it.

Could be worse, but I digress.

My blood pressure is through the roof, fairly proportional to my caffeine intake. So I need to cut the stuff out. 

When last I worked nights, I got out of bed by taking a dose of Excedrin with a bottle of Coke. Then I'd put myself to bed with melatonin and Advil PM. When I left that job, I flipped from being awake nights to days by simply going cold turkey. When my body was expecting the wakey wakey drugs, nothing would come and I would crash. When my brain likewise expected the sleep juice, it never came and I was wired.

All in all, it was a pretty quick way to cut my trips to the pharmacy.

That was six years ago, and my phenomenal lack of discipline is always coming back to haunt me.

Monday, September 20, 2021

The day of birth

My third born child turned 8 today. He's a behemoth, in the 90th percentile for height and weight (he's not fat, this kid is all muscle). He wears costumes all the time. Today he dressed like a pirate in school. We typically don't let the kids play video games on school days, except on a birthday. He wanted everyone to have game time, not just himself. 

He's constantly building things. I have to find building kits before he starts dismantling things around the house for parts. My workshop is littered with the remains of various projects. He's convinced I'm a genius because I know what tool to use for different jobs.

It's been less than 2 weeks and he has conquered the third grade.