Lonely dentist

Storytime:

Many years ago, when my company was very small, so many employees would take off the week of the New York State Fair that we didn't have anyone left to open the doors for. This happened until we just decided to shut down that week. Now the fair starts half a week earlier, and we have more than twice as many employees, but we still close down for the week before Labor Day. There's no fancy title for this, we just call it 'shutdown'. 

Honestly, it's the only way the boss can take a vacation. Even when he's on vacation, he's worried about what's happening here. When nothing is happening here, he has nothing to worry about.

Six months ago, my wife scheduled our next dentist appointment on her way out. Not that I can't do it, but I'm always the last one in the chair so she's doing it before I get the chance. On *my* way out, I find that she scheduled it for the last week in August. No way was I going to the dentist during free time, oh no sir, so I rescheduled my own appointment for a week sooner.

The week before Labor Day is typically the last week in August, except when it's not. August 31 is a Monday this year, meaning Labor Day is a full week into September on the 7th. I did not realize this at the time. So I had my dentist appointment a few days ago, the wife is taking the kids in a few days, and I have work this week. Mandatory Fun is next week.

In my defense, it's happening pretty late in the year.

Twenty years

I am a very... different kind of person. I can't find any other way of putting it without sounding either degrading or self-serving. Either way, I'm certain my wife didn't know what she was getting into when she agreed to marry me.

Four kids later, she's stuck with me.

Quiet weekish

This week my boys are at camp, all three of them. My twentieth wedding anniversary is next week, but we figured this was the week for it. My sister agreed to host our daughter for the duration while the boys are at camp, so this was the week the wife and I decided to skip town.

She wanted to go to the Adirondacks. I found us a nice hotel on Lake Flower that has kayaks and canoes the guests can use whenever they like. She found three easy hikes, and we filled the rest of the time with, well, whatever we wanted. 

I joked that I would wake up to find her already out on the lake. She didn't believe me, but one morning I woke up to find her missing. The lake had this thick fog over it, and I saw her kayak slipping into the mist, disappearing for a good long while. Later, she quietly admitted I knew her better than she thought.

Well, it has been twenty years.

The hikes were, like I said, easy. Easy for me, anyway. I've been working my way through the 46 high peaks, and those bottom out at 4 hours or 5 miles. These took around an hour and were maybe a mile. Of course, going out onto the water isn't my thing either. We have a lot of separate interests, more than we have together. But you learn to work with it over the years. 

Maybe that's how we've managed this long. 

The busiest month

As I've ranted about more than once, schools in New York run through the end of June, while the rest of the country is finished somewhere around Memorial Day. The flipside to this is our schools don't start until after Labor Day, while the rest of the country picks up sometime in August.

Which makes July the busiest month of the year for vacation spots. This is precisely why I don't go on any big vacation in July, at least any that involve going out of state. If you recall I planned THE BIG TRIP during August with this in mind. 

The vacation in 2018 to Arizona over Christmas included a trip to the Grand Canyon, and apparently that's one of their busiest times. I love outdoorsy stuff, but outdoorsy stuff with TEN THOUSAND PEOPLE had better be a concert.

It was not a concert. It was just crowded.

So now that July is over, there's more stuff going on and it's all creeping up on me I have so much planning to do.

Twisted neck

I've been slowly discovering that my neck, which should turn my head in various directions with equal effort, does not do that. I can easily turn my head to the right and hold it there. But I cannot turn my head facing left and hold it there without it becoming uncomfortable. I learned this while lying face down and trying to hold it different ways.

This is not evidence of my political views, but I can see why you might make that mistake.

My wife poked around my back for a bit and can find a clear difference between my left and right shoulders. I'm not sure if I need an orthopedist, a massage, or physical therapy.

I suppose at my age I should get this looked at before it becomes a permanent feature.

Senior portraits

When I was in my senior year of high school, they didn't do a standard 'picture day', where a studio showed up and acted like they were the only ones in town that owned a camera.

Seriously, why do they charge so much for this?

But my senior year, we had to submit our own photos. Everyone else still got the standard lineup, but we had to do it on our own. This was back in the 90's, so it was all still film cameras. There was no way of knowing how good a shot ended up until you got it back.

I don't miss those days.

So being the broke, chronically unempowered teenager of limited means, I struggled to figure out what to do. I had long since abandoned the idea of asking my parents for anything, so I was running out of ideas. Then during a free period at school, my brother found me and led me to the art wing. I had no idea what was happening until I found myself sitting in a makeshift photo studio getting a picture taken. Then the girl behind the camera said she'd submit it for me.

I was ambushed. I wished I had some warning. I was wearing an ill-fitting flannel shirt (again, it was the 90's), and I badly needed a haircut. I suppose I should be grateful, otherwise I wouldn't have been in the yearbook at all. But my super serious senior portrait was just as bad as a candid shot. 

My oldest is entering his senior year, and my wife made an appointment at an actual portrait studio. Why she didn't ask any of our actual photographer friends, I don't know, I suppose she doesn't really know how long it takes me to earn that money.

But I digress.

I begged him to just do a solid job of washing his hair. The once-over he gives it in the morning is... fine. But for this, honestly, he needed to visit a salon. Or at the very least someone help him with it, because it's long and needs more maintenance than he gives it.

It was during the day, long after I departed the house while everyone else was still asleep, and before I would ever leave work. Nothing happened. The proofs came in my email, and what was an ambush to me was not with him. I suppose instead of disappointment I should just resign myself to it.

Summer absence

This begins a week of my two oldest boys being gone and out of town. It's gonna be weird, it always is. It's not camp, that's next month. It's FSY out in Amherst Massachusetts, and my wife's friend (who lives in nearby CT) has kids attending the same week. It's unfortunate that neither of them considered meeting up and hanging out in the duration.

I still have my two younger children, and the boy in that part can be a noisy one regardless. Still, half as quiet is still oddly quiet.

One day I'll be an empty nester and have no idea what to do with myself.