Here we end again

My wife bought some fireworks around the 4th of July. (In NY, it's only legal to buy them at certain times of the year) Most of them were used for that occasion (and my two younger children missed out entirely, having fallen asleep before sundown), but the remainder were earmarked for New Years. She fully intended to start the new year by blowing up a small part of my driveway.

It's been warm for weeks. It's been rainy for days. The current weather prediction calls for rain all day, moreso right around when she planned her detonation party. Big fat raindrops mixed with wet snow.

I'm considering buying a few cheap umbrellas to set over the launch site.

Merry [update pending]

I'm giving the gift of video games to my kids (and a little to myself, not gonna lie), but after years of seeing people complain on social media about updates and patches taking forever, I realized that letting the kids do the unboxing was downright irresponsible.

The console was already in regular use, so after the kids went to bed (and well after we knew they were asleep), I took the games one by one and put them in the system, downloading update after update. Each took little over an hour, but that was normal for how many updates were needed (they weren't the newest games to begin with, but my kids have a taste for this kind of thing).

The update servers are looking at their calendars, knowing full well that they can't do anything about the digital onslaught rushing across the web. Thousands of unsuspecting recipients will plug in their new Xboxes and Playstations, unwrap their new games and

connecting to download server. update pending. 0%.... 1%... time to finish approx 5hours 43minutes

Those update servers get slammed like a screen door in a hurricane every Christmas morning. The past few nights I've been *playing* those games, making sure I had everything ready.

Mostly because I don't want to hear them complaining about it.

Staycation

I value my time.

I will never understand workaholics. Work for the sake of work just seems like a good way to wear yourself out. As for myself, sometimes I just have to stop. The more responsibilities I have, the more I appreciate getting away from what doesn't matter as much.

That's why I always take my time off. This time around I simply added up whatever time I had left and counted back from the end of the year. It's a good stretch, I'm planning on sleeping in.

My kids won't let me, but at least I won't have to haul myself out into the freezing cold.

PartyParty

In my adult life, I've seen an odd trend that many Christmas parties are held on the same day. Now I know there are only so many days in the month, and most such events are held on weekends, limiting it to about 6 different days, but oddly enough the ones I attend seem to fall on the same day. Never the same time, but always the same day. This is a trend that goes back years.

I like overeating at a Christmas party. I can't do that at both if they're within hours of each other. My inner glutton is never happy, but my heart and pancreas are grateful for it.

Missing parts

Having a small tractor that holds, alternately, a mower deck and a snowblower. The mower deck is pretty straightforward. The snowblower requires a lot more. Like twice as much.

It's missing parts, and for the life of me I can't even figure out which parts are missing. I can't even *start* to assemble this thing unless I have whatever it takes to get the first parts attached.

This is what happens when someone else cleans up.

Franksgiving

Knowing full well that someone is going to put in way more effort than anyone asked for, only to complain that the kids only ate a roll, I'm going in armed with sarcasm and a veggie tray.

I've seen people saying that they're supposed to start at noon, but usually start several hours late because some guests prefer to arrive at dinnertime. What maniac eats dinner at noon?

Then there are the people who apparently aren't allowed to eat until dinner. They go without breakfast or lunch, thinking that will help them eat more dinner.  

News Flash: 

All you're doing is making yourself cranky and miserable, and probably sharing your misery with the overcrowded house you're currently occupying.

My kids want hot dogs and rolls this morning, and honestly they can have it.

Consistent awakening

It seems that regardless of the time I go to bed, I wake up at the same time. Take for example, I stayed up later than normal a few nights ago, yet woke up at my usual time between 5 and 5:30. I was dog tired, but couldn't fall back asleep. Last night I was more tired than usual, and went to bed closer to 7pm (I just quit for the day, I know). Granted, I didn't fall asleep until about 8ish, but that's still really early for me.

I woke up this morning at 5am. There must be a setting somewhere with a hard wake-up time programmed in...

Rude awakening

I used to think the worst way to wake up was when a parent entered the room, ripped off my blanket, and opened the curtains.

For the record: my parents never had a good reason to do that.

Later the title of worst was passed to my alarm clock, reminding me that I stayed up too late. The successor to such was my kids jumping on me.

They don't do that anymore. Now I just wake up with headaches. Sometimes it's when I need to wake up, other times it's at 2am. I can't for the life of me figure out what's going on. WebMD tells me it's cancer. My body isn't talking. Is this the human version of a check engine light? Where do I plug in the diagnostic tool?

On second thought, don't answer that.

Rakes, shoots, and leaves

I have this massive tree in my backyard, and I do mean massive. It's easily twice the height of my house, with a canopy that reaches over the fence on both sides, and covers half the length. It's a maple tree, so the leaves are broad enough (and the branches thick enough) to create an impressive shade for my back yard.

Until the turn of the season.

It's one of those trees that likes to hang on until the bitter end. Or rather, the bitter cold. When the leaves finally do fall, it's nearly all at once, and so cold out that it's almost snowing. It gets windy, but that's no help. The fence surrounding my yard is chain link (came with the house, definitely not my choice), so when the wind blows, they all clump up along the side of the yard along the fence.

Enter the big mower.

My eldest son takes care of the yard while I'm at work, but I take care of my grandfather's yard next door. I have a small push mower (and a narrow yard). My grandfather has a large riding mower. With everything lined up, I just need one pass and it turns to a fine mist, blowing away in the wind.

I hate gathering leaves.

Overovertime

One of the benefits of my job is that it comes with steady hours. Making plans for a weekend six weeks from now? Yep, I can do that.

Then the overtime started. 

Oh sure, it's not mandatory. Nobody is required to put in the extra hours. Unless you have a good size family and a healthy obligation to care for them. Or if you're handed a key and a security code and asked if you can open up tomorrow.

Silver lining: my kids don't let anyone sleep in on the weekend anyway. 

Rainaween

I have childhood memories of trick-or-treating in a myriad of adverse weather conditions. Horrible rain, blustery wind, and yes, even snow. But my children are already sick. One has been coughing and throwing up for days, another is approaching, and yet another has fought the same symptoms.

I know they have spirit, but then this is facing me down: 100% chance of rain and windy. Sure my kids are willing to brave the elements for random candy from strangers, but my parental instincts are going bonkers over here. ("You'll get sick and the others will get worse" blah blah blah)

Considering buying a few variety packs and having them trick-or-treat in the hallway.

Sumpy pumpy

I was obliged to unplug my sump pump for a day.

It's ok, it literally never gets wet in my basement.

Anyway, at the end of that one day, I noticed that the sump basin was full. Like full full. Turns out I have some wacky plumbing. I find out that my washing machine and utility sink both drain into the sump basin, which then gets pumped straight outside.

No bueno.

I plug in the sump pump and consider my plumbing options. Some time later, I realize it hasn't turned off yet. I figure it has a lot to do. I leave.

I come back later, it's still going. I pulled the cap off to find it completely dry, but a cap that normally comes with a bottle of laundry detergent is jamming the float valve.

I don't use those. I never have. It's been in there since I bought the place. I figure it was in the basin, but high enough to just sit around. When it filled up, it floated down until it got jammed in the floater.

My house is a cobbled together mess of uncertainty.

Kenmore the Undrying

When I bought my house, the previous owner left behind all the appliances.

This was not stated in the contract, and was unexpected, but I wasn't gonna complain.

The washer was immediately replaced with the one we already had, and the dryer stayed. (Ok, it moved from one wall to another. There was no reason it should be venting under the deck) It ran perfectly, handling endless loads of laundry week after week (come on, I have 4 kids, there's gonna be a lot), until just a week ago.

It went from a dryer to a tumbler. Uselessly spinning wet laundry until the timer stopped. It was then that I realized just how much I love the internet.

A 3 minute search revealed the most common problems, and 2 minutes later with a multimeter I was able to determine that it was a blown thermal fuse, and Amazon Prime had a replacement within 36 hours.

In my youth, back in the 90's we all remember so nostalgically, that would have been impossible. Unless you were already a repairman, your best bet would have been to either own a copy of, or hit your local library or bookstore hoping they have a copy of a moderately comprehensive handyman repair guide. Having a friend that did this sort of thing all the time would be helpful, too. Once you went through the painstaking process of determining the problem, getting replacement parts was a pain. Who even sells them? You find some handyman repair shop and hope they have the part you need, or drive around various hardware stores, or dig out a parts catalog and keep your credit card ready. Don't hold your breath, shipping will take a week or two.

It might have been easier than that, I wouldn't know. I was a teenager then, and never owned any major appliances until after YouTube tutorials and Amazon. Look, all I'm saying it "heck yea internet"

Intake overindulgence

My brother and I decided that, instead of ordering individual slices, we would just get a whole pizza and a 2 liter. We were on the go, so there was no bringing leftovers with us. We were committed.

Remember in Back to the Future 2 when Doc Brown just dumped random garbage into Mr Fusion to power the Flux Capacitor? Yea, that's a teenager's stomach. You can give a teenage boy any garbage and they'll burn it and turn it into pure energy.

I am not Mr Fusion. I'm pushing 40, and that means I'm more like a lawnmower engine. I do my job slowly, but I can't handle just any fuel. Just like small engines choke on ethanol, I should never, never, eat half a pizza covered with extra gooey cheese in one sitting, shotgunning it with pure sugar and caffeine.

It was pretty good pizza, though. No gonna lie.

Intake deprivation

Seems this is the time of year my sinuses decide to just... stop. Like there's a golf ball size wad just rattling around in there, randomly plugging whichever side it's been thrown towards. The worst of it always happens when I haven't had much to eat.

I don't need to be hungry. I can go a good portion of the day without eating. But when this type of ailment encroaches on my sanity, the only thing that fixes it is to just overeat. Indulge, have a little of everything. Order an extra just for myself. Stir the pot while you add more everything.

I don't get full easily at these times, either.  I honestly can't say I understand what's going on, but a large meal followed by an equally large nap tends to work better than half the medicines out there.

A and B to CD

Vinyl and tapes had their A side and B side, which alphabetically led us to the CD. From there I could make a joke about MP3, but I'd get lost in a sea of file extensions and I don't think that's funny material at all.

I might also lose what little audience I have left on this blog.

My dear wife has apparently been disc swapping constantly while driving the kids around, and came to the conclusion that her husband (a man that's been manipulating audio files for decades) might be able to help her out.

When approaching the task, I realized that I haven't had to do this in some time. I felt like I had to knock the dust off the software and remind my computer that it had an optical drive. At some point I'll take out the last disc, and in that moment I won't really know it's the last one. Does anyone remember the last time they used a floppy disc? I got a replacement motherboard years back, and realized I couldn't connect my old floppy drive because it didn't have the right connection type. I never bothered to keep one after that. I simply couldn't remember when I ever needed it past late 2000, early 2001 or so.

It's a weird thing to think about.

Wardrobe season

It's that wonderful time of year where you have to put on a coat in the morning, but take it off before 9am because it suddenly got hot again. Then some clouds breeze overhead and the ice forms again. Once nature settles on a temperature, your coworkers will start to debate on whether to keep the overhead open, or turn on the AC.

Meanwhile I'm over here just ready for *anyone* to make up their mind.

😑

The case of the fused vertebrae

So my mother needed surgery. They needed to fuse three of the vertebrae in her neck. That was just over a week ago. She has to wear a cervical collar until Thanksgiving. She's sore, can't sleep well, can't eat most foods (has to be really soft)

And I'm over here like; my mom isn't invincible?

Follicle chroma

My wife began by saying I may have a hard time accepting what she's about to tell me.

Ladies: This is *not* how you change the subject when you're talking about your relationship.

ahem

So I braced myself and she paused before telling me I had a lot of gray hair. Having been prepared for some indeterminate bombshell about our relationship, I had to quickly switch gears to tell her that no, that wasn't a problem at all. In fact, it was just fine.

You see, you can only have gray hair if it's there.

Take a look at my family's genetics. I'm doomed to one day sport a chrome dome. I'll be saving a lot of money on shampoo. Both sides of the family granted me such a legacy. Both of my brothers are on their way.

...I'm not. Not yet, but I know it's happening. Two people have told me they think I'm thinning but photos from my early 20's show that's just not the case. (Pics of other people where my head is at an ungainly angle, to be honest)

I feel like my head is going to be that last tree in the fall that just suddenly dumps its leaves on the last day. If, however, I manage to skip that, I won't mind having a mess of silver locks.

Sun(set)

So the sunflowers were short lived. I got home from work the other day to find the two on the end had collapsed, toppling over and pulling out their own roots. As I set out to clear them, the others fell in succession, like dominoes.

My second born was very upset. My oldest questioned why. The rest noted that they could now see out the front window. After months of dull green stalks, I hoped that the bright yellow blossoms might last awhile.

Yea, I'm absolutely going with a different variety next year.

NYS Fair

So yesterday the wife and I took our 4 kids to the fair. We, fortunately, went with no expectations beyond chasing our kids and making sure they were hydrated and well worn out. My parents (being the kind of grandparents that want to spoil, but lack the energy to do it in person) happily donated a set of all day ride passes for the kids.

My 8 year old neighbor, meanwhile, showed my kids the massive stuffed monstrosity that her dad won via some carnival game. My boys, especially Z, entered the fair with the idea that we had to leave with some prize.

I was fortunate to find a sympathetic game worker that just "happened" to have a good deal that day. The two boys just *dying* to come home with a Pikachu... did. (And thanks to smartphones, I knew I spent just about Amazon prices to get them, with the extra going toward the fun of the game)

Becka and I each wore a backpack full of lunches, snacks, and water bottles. Being in a group of 6 that spent $0 at the fair on food feels accomplished All credit to the wife on that one. Meanwhile, wearing a small backpack all day took a toll on my shoulders of all things.

Sliced

Important things not to cut:
1: Live wires
2: Connections to decent people

New things added to list this week:
3: The fiber optic cable connecting my house to the internet.

ANY other kind of cable, I can repair. This requires either a complete replacement, or a very expensive set of tools.

Old photographs

It's a strange thing, looking at old photographs. You can tell when they weren't taken with ultra HD digital cameras. Old middle of the road 35mm cameras where you couldn't see the picture until a week later when they were developed, so you were stuck with what you got.

Mostly it's the lighting and color. I honestly don't have the language to describe it, but you can tell when it was a film camera that used chemicals to develop vs a digital image, the colors are different. They don't have as wide a range; shadows are darker, and bright lights overwhelm. Colors seem a bit more muted.

And when you get 24 shots you get to see a week later? It's more raw. There's less refinement to the subject. People blink, the shot is blurry. A bad picture of your friend on vacation was kept because it was your *only* picture of your friend from that vacation.

It's a strange thing, looking at old photographs. Some old friends will post an old pic on social media, and I seem to have gained a sense of when they were taken even without a caption.

Tenflower

Like the subject line says, ten of them are now blossoming.

Looks like all I had to do was wait another week. Still, I'm going with a different variety next time.

Oneflower

Look at this disgrace. I planted these in mid-May. It's been over two months, and I get ONE FLOWER. JUST ONE FLOWER. My kids already figured out what they were, before this embarrassing display manifest in my front lawn.

My wife likes the shade on the front windows. It's nice, but it's SUPPOSED TO BE A COLLECTION OF BRIGHT YELLOWY GOODNESS. A COLLECTION OF SUNSHINE RADIATING FROM MY HOME. Instead I got a bunch of tall green stalks.

Whatever I quit.

Camp rain

So every year I take my older boys out camping. This year was the first for my 3rd son. Now there's a bit of an age gap between 2 and 3, so he's a few steps behind his brothers. This shows in their interactions, how they play, etc. I was ready to mitigate the differences to make it a smoother trip for everyone...

But I didn't need to. The differences that cause conflict were still present, but they worked with each other and set them aside. I suppose driving rain on our arrival and a scary night can do that.

You know how raindrops sound very irregular when they're falling through tree leaves? Imagine that on the metal roof of our cabin (so glad I got the cabin this year). To my sons, it was weird and scary. I knew exactly what it was and I kinda liked it, but they were put off by it.

I need to foster more situations like this. Shared misery is apparently a good thing.

Supplies suprise

Well in advance, I started looking through our camp supplies. They weren't all in the same place, and I discovered a few redundancies. Turns out I'm more of a hoarder than it seems.

We make our own firestarters. We use paper egg cartons as a base, fill them with dryer lint, and pour melted wax over it. They work amazingly well. Someone I know was offering a giant block of wax (free, just take it), and my dad had a large stack of the paper egg cartons. I've been collecting dryer lint for 3 years. I have enough raw material to make so many firestarters my kids will be telling stories about it for their entire lives. My grandchildren will be using these.

If I make them.

Camp

Every July I take my boys camping. This is going to be the first year for my third son (he's finally old enough to keep up)

This is not the time for me to be constantly tired.

Green balled?

My sunflowers are 8 feet tall, but are just big green stumps. No flowers yet. My kids are amazed at the size of these giant green stalks, whose leaves are blocking my front windows.

But no flowers yet. -_-

The new car

So I bought a car that was a color they called "silver metallic topaz", which actually looks like a shiny sky blue. It's almost the exact same color as my wife's first car, the one she had when we got together. She took that car on more adventures than I knew about. In its old age, it gave out on us and she was very unhappy to see it go.

So when I first saw this new car, I immediately knew my wife would love it just based on the color alone. Turns out I was right. I think she wants to take it from me.

Busiest week

So I submitted a major proposal at work on Monday, and had to argue its case. It was approved.
I taught a class on Tuesday.
I bought a new car on Wednesday.
We entertained on Thursday.
I received forklift certification on Friday.
I joined an old friend receiving religious ordinances on Saturday, then wrote a speech that night.

No wonder I've been tense.

134,869 miles

That's what it takes to murder a 2007 Ford Taurus. 134,869 miles on New York's salt encrusted roadways. When it was just rock salt being thrown down, it wasn't so bad. But when they switched to this sticky brine solution that clings to your vehicle, it broke my car. It was never the same after that first winter. I didn't even know they made the switch until it was too late.

Car shopping is a hassle.

Precipitation

I like to go hiking on my birthday. I was completely rained out.
We didn't have a sitter during the day, either, so we had our 4 year old.
Our evening sitter somehow didn't put the kids to bed, and they were up and *wired* when we returned home, not going down until after 11.

I'm calling a do-over.

Ye olde smartwatch

So right now I'm wearing a Gear 2 Neo, which in tech terms is a dinosaur. It's a Ship of Thesus, as nearly every part has been replaced over the 5 years I've owned it. (Only the battery terminals from the original remain. Even the chipset has been replaced)

The second band broke, and now I'm wearing it with yet a third. Honestly it's so beat up that it needs replacing, but I'm so out of touch with wearable tech that I wouldn't even know where to start. What's being recommended never seems to line up with what's being sold (currently unavailable, blah blah).

Idea

So I had this idea, and...

Broken phone

I've had cell phones in their various types since 2001, and smartphones for the last 8 or so years. Never once have I broken or even damaged one. In fact when I sent a used one to a relative who needed one, they accused me of buying it new for them.

Nope. I just baby the things until they die of old age.

Until Monday. My record and my phone are one and the same: broken. After dozens of various falls and mishaps, this one tumbled from my hands and met the concrete, corner first.

The S7 edge screen isn't cheap to replace, and most shops won't even try because of the odd shape. I'm left with partially usable hardware, or a new phone.

Good thing my birthday is coming up.

Phantom Meanie

It's been 20 years since Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace hit theaters. I remember growing up with Star Wars baked deep in pop culture. You couldn't escape it. It was part of the background noise, a membrane covering society that couldn't be avoided. While the original films were good in their own right, they were never allowed to stand alone.

Fans, by the truckload, began writing, drawing, and composing. Eventually Lucas caved and the entire EU was born as dozens of authors began filling in the gaps, telling more and more stories. You could find technical manuals for all the spaceships, weapons, planets, aliens, that were in the movies, then in the books. It fed itself. At that point, Star Wars was a living thing.

That's why Phantom Menace wasn't very well received. It didn't blend well with the established dogma. It had a very different feel to it. I actually thought it was a decent movie by itself. (Including Jar Jar - we needed a village idiot, deal with it) But the fact that the movie didn't mesh well with the fandom was exactly the problem.

The background noise that was Star Wars just felt different. A part of my childhood felt almost unrecognizable. But that was to be expected. Nothing lives up to 20 years of hype.

Opening

I've been opening at work all week. It's something I've done in the past. Usually one or two days, but "someone" is on vacation and "someone else" is giving yet another person a ride until it's too late.

So it falls to me.

There isn't much to be done before everyone else arrives, but an old compressor takes its sweet time pressurizing an awful lot of air lines spread far and wide. That's really the only reason I have to show up early at all. And due to some odd glitch in traffic patterns, if I try to show up right on time to do that, I wind up showing up at my normal time. If I try to show up at my normal time, I do. But if I try to show up ludicrously early, I can.

It was like that when I worked nights, at a different job, in a different part of the state. I wonder if this odd phenomena is common or just follows me around.

Mothers day

It's never easy helping my kids get something ready for mothers day. Especially when all she wants is food off the grill... and it's been raining non stop for days.

At least the card they picked out was cute.

The planting

I bought my house from a woman that loved her flower beds. There were flowers of all kinds, as well as a wide variety of flowering shrubs and other such things.

I neglected them. I simply didn't have the time or energy to take care of them. My neighbor said he would see her outside every single day for a couple hours weeding and tending to them.

Yea no.

Late last summer, I finally uprooted the tangled mess they had become. I allowed grass to reclaim what was at ground level, and the raised beds were covered so nothing else could grow in them. The six massive flower pots were emptied.

My wife requested flowers. I suddenly felt motivated. I got a bright colorful mix of annuals and perennials, and set them up by the front door. She seems quite pleased. But the surprise has yet to manifest.


The surprise says it takes 7-14 days.

Endgame

So I saw the big movie after a brief social media blackout (someone spoiled Star Wars for me in a comment on a completely unrelated page, and I still hate him for it), and the first thing I wanted to do was talk about it with someone. I went alone (no babysitter, so the wife didn't join me), but then there was my brother. He was going to a later showing (his second viewing) and we bumped into each other in the lobby.

The lobby outside the theater, filled with people going to see this exact movie, is the worst place to discuss said movie. Still haven't had a chance to hash this one out.

The overscheduled catch-up

Having a tight a schedule as we do during tax season, there are a lot of things that don't get done. (At least *I* can't run errands) Things tend to build up, especially in the last month. Last week, and continuing through this week, is the great unwinding. The unpacking of everything that was crammed into the future because it wouldn't fit into the now.

It's nice but it's a pain.

Tax day

I hope you all filed your taxes already.

Me? I haven't done my taxes in 13 years. (I get my wife back tomorrow)

Spring weaning

I have a tendency to spoil my kids during tax season. I'm outnumbered four to one, everyone has something that needs to get done, and I have a few scant hours to do it before it gets too late in the day.

Some things get skipped (a lot), and other indulgences are granted (a lot). It doesn't help that I'm a naturally lazy person - I'm always looking for the easiest way to finish something (in a way that doesn't make me have to go back and do it again. I'm *extra* lazy like that).

But Monday is the last day. Next week is also spring break, so there's plenty of time for my kids to deal with it.

Out like a lion

So the old saying for March was always: "In like a lion, out like a lamb", which made little sense to me growing up because we never went to the zoo in March. Of course later I realized it was a metaphor, but that didn't help this year.

Nature's April fools prank was four inches of snow. It was 60 degrees on Saturday. I just finished clearing powder off my car.

I suppose it would be too easy if it were consistent.

10 years later

I still remember this happening. My son turned 10 today. In the previous weeks when asking what he wanted to do, he said he wanted to skip school. His mother was on the fence about it when I plainly reminded her that I never go to work on *my* birthday.

Of course, I still go to work on my kids birthdays, so my dear wife gets to shuttle the birthday boy around.

10 years, wow. I gotta stop thinking about it.

Caffeine free

I can't exactly tell you when it happened, but I realized that getting out of bed should not be a chore after sleeping in. I decided I needed not just to cut back my caffeine intake, but to cut it out.

I started with metered doses, cutting it down little by little to stave off the headaches. That took a week. The slight grogginess throughout the day took awhile longer. It's been several weeks and I haven't had any caffeine at all. Honestly, I sleep so well. I lay down and *pop* I am OUT. I wake up in the morning and I'm... awake. Just like that.

The biggest thing is the stress. I normally deal with a degree of physical stress as a result of my job, but that's external. I used to feel physical stress that was more internal. I'm so much more relaxed.

Bonus: 90% of my caffeine intake came through soda. I just removed a wild majority of sugar from my diet, with all the bonuses that entails.

The Lion, The Witch, and the bedtime

After encouraging my children to wrestle for an hour while I made dinner, I found a movie that's almost 2 and a half hours long that they haven't seen in at least a year. My daughter fell asleep on the couch. Two of my sons are nodding off. The last one should be a shoe-in.

Remind me to tell you how well it worked.

Science unfair

Ah, elementary school science fairs. Where...

No, I'll be nice.

My wife decided to make it easy on me, since I was going to be the one taking them. Instead of my three sons all doing different projects, she insisted on them doing one group project. It meant that I could be in one place during the event.

Except I had 4 kids with me at the time, and *some* fool decided that two large bowls of candy needed to be made available at the main entrance.

I'm playing this up as a difficult task, but somehow my kids didn't drive me insane. They stayed with their project when they needed to, they didn't run amok, they... listened to me.

They all got ice cream.

Notes

I need to start keeping notes handy.

Throughout the day, a thought pops into my head and I'll realize that's something I can blog about. Soon after, I'll forget what that was.

I need to start writing these things down.

Happy 9 3/4

So with my wife's birthday being on Feb 29, it only comes once every 4 years. This non birthday so far is 9 3/4. While she's a hyper literate bibliophile, Harry Potter was never her fandom. She read the books, saw the movies, and called it good.

Also we're very nearly middle aged, so themes just don't work any more. Ah well.

Icefall

It's raining and windy. The kind of weather that makes sure everything is nicely soaked. It's also supposed to get well below freezing tonight.

I wonder how thick the ice on my car will be by morning.

Saturday work

So my employer has been doing overtime lately. Something about 'catching up' and 'being way behind'. It's not mandatory, unless you count my wife's opinion regarding our finances. Then I remembered that I have kids. Four kids. Their ages are 3, 5, 8, and 9. I'm up every Saturday morning whether I like it or not. Sleeping in is not a thing anymore. Even if I can just stay in bed, there's no rest to be had.

I'm going to work.

The beard

It started with sheer laziness. I just didn't want to shave that morning. Or the next. Or the next. My employer doesn't care (100% backend work, and it doesn't impede my work), so that was never an issue. It started to get a bit long.

Then it got cold out. That bitter chill that gets worse with a sharp wind. I have to go outside more often than I realize when it gets that kind of cold out. This beard started earning its keep that day.

Then my wife started to 'voice' her approval. She would prefer a goatee (I've had beards in the past), but I simply can't stand the look of one. I'm not sure there's anything the world could toss at me that would make me want to keep one.

But now, there's nothing that seems to be helping this facial hair. It's coarse, very coarse. I was able to keep it a bit softer with various products, but currently no oil or balm can get to it. It feels like I have sharp bristles hanging off my chin.

I'd like to keep it just up through my wife's birthday, but these past two weeks are pushing it. My own face should not be distracting me throughout the day.

The dead of winter

I sit in the middle of the dead of winter. Not dead because of the climate, no. Dead because my wife goes to work about 10 minutes after I get home, and returns only after her tax office closes. Day after day, it's just the kids and I. Even a teenager I can relate with on some functional level, but my oldest is only 9 so far.

This is the fourth year doing this. I'm fully saturated in memes. I've found there is no end to the weird part of YouTube. It's actually helped my creative side in a way that defies explanation.

That's my way of saying I won't tell you.

More weather?

Seems it happens every week or so. This time it's extreme cold with high winds. Some schools closed a day ahead of time just to play it safe. The storm system is big enough that my wife's family in Wisconsin is dealing with temps of 30 below with wind chill taking it to minus 60. It's not that bad here, but still nerve wracking. Those are the kind of temperatures that solidify your liquid fuels - the ones you often use for heat.

Yea, not entirely comforting. Makes me want to redo the insulation in my house.

Storm of the- nevermind

Everyone was all worked up over it. People preemptively closed businesses, schools, and roads. Grocery stores ran wild with people trying to make large amounts of french toast.

A tepid seven inches of snow fell, and was quickly swept aside. Disruption due to the MASSIVE KILLSNOW was minimal. More was disrupted by the panic over it.

This is why I refuse to believe in bad weather until I see it.

Bacon mints

Yes, bacon mints. My sister picked up a handful of tins as Christmas novelties, and when I saw her today she passed me one.

They taste exactly like you think they would.

Return of the Specs

So I left my glasses in New Mexico.

Not on purpose. As we packed up the van out of our last hotel in Edgewood NM, they stopped being where I put them. We searched the van, the hotel room, the lobby, but they were nowhere to be found. My guess was they were in the van somewhere.

I was wrong.

Day driving wasn't a problem. I had some silly looking sunglasses I had gotten for free at the State Fair this past summer, which my son asked to bring. Worked for me. Night driving, however, was handed off to my wife. Two days after we got home, after having fully unpacked everything, they were still missing.

I called the hotel. The same person that checked me in, and subsequently checked me out (she was stuck there too) answered the phone, and had found my glasses. She knew they were mine.

I sent a small box, inside it was another, smaller box with a prepaid shipping label. Inside that was just some foam and a note.

My glasses arrived today. The same person included a return note. I saw more people working at the hotel, but based on my experiences, I think she's the only employee.

Uncanny survival

I certainly wasn't planning on staying up for New Years, but being wound up and having too much to do led me right to it.

It all felt so anticlimactic. Just another calendar day passed by. I suppose having been stuck on the road for four days can cause one to lose their sense of time. I saw the celebrations, heard the fireworks, and it just didn't hit me at all.

There's something to be said about buildup.