2022

 

Mystery cartoons

So right now my phone is the Samsung Galaxy S22 Ultra, and I use a folio case. The cover has a little window that can show a clock or whatever. I typically just keep it on the clock because who cares.

Until they showed up.

I closed the case late one Friday night, about to go to sleep when a little cartoon vegetable popped up. A little carrot peeked up from the bottom, then bounced on screen. I opened and closed it again, and it was replaced by a leek wearing a headband. Then an eggplant tossing a hat on its butt. Then a tomato wearing a sombrero. Then a fuzzy blue thing that just bounced up and down.

I'd show you, but my only camera is on my phone, and I'd have to get another camera (or phone) to do this, and that's oddly more difficult that it sounds.

I've tried finding out what they are and where they came from, but I've found nothing at all. Nothing in the settings yielded any information. No internet search revealed a clue.

For now, I have a bunch of random veggies dancing on my lock screen.

Lights and computers

We've been making changes at work, which is about the only thing that stays the same. Every single light fixture has been replaced, and half of the lights look as bright as all of them before.

This works, especially in a machine shop.

Then the new computer security requirements, which called for new networking hardware. And all our computers were getting old and slow, so they all got replaced. Upgraded hardware also meant upgraded software, which means snags as not everything moved over smoothly.

This is nothing to me. But I'm also not the only one working there, so the snags grab a little harder on some.

All in all, every part of it has made my job easier, but whenever the lighting changes somewhere it takes me awhile to adjust, because I feel like I'm somewhere else.

The hidden stash

My son claims he knows where we hide the Christmas presents. 

Disclaimer: none of our kids have ever believed in Santa. They've always understood, from the beginning, that while the character had a historical origin, it's become a modern way of giving anonymously.

Anyway.

He made this claim boldly, as if it meant we had no secrets. So I told him to go find one of his and he could open it. Right there and then, no holding back. 

He hesitated, then said he didn't want to spoil it for himself or anyone else.

Sure.

(disclaimer: we don't even hide them in the house, the hiding place has been off site for years)

New hotness

A week later, we can finally use an oven again. Getting the glass replaced turned out to be more expensive than getting a new oven entirely. I suppose those silly black Friday deals can come in handy sometimes.

That's better.

Being without a functioning oven for a week was weird. The stovetop still worked, so we could still cook with pots and pans, but most of the food we make in large amounts goes in the oven. That and it's BAKING SEASON, so waiting four months for someone to repair the door at a higher price was a no-go.

We didn't like the old stove anyway.

Oven kaboom

My oven door exploded outward on me. Literally *on* me.

Ok, let's back up. The oven was dirty, and I needed to clean it. So I soaked the inside with an oven cleaner, then began to pull it out so I could clean underneath and behind it. I've moved it plenty of times, so it wasn't an issue.

During the moving process, the glass on the door unexpectedly burst, shattering all over me. It's this weird safety glass, so there are no jagged edges that were slicing at me.

See? It's filthy.

The day before Thanksgiving my oven door just blasts out like this. I'm thankful that I'm not hosting this year.

The Tube

Digging through my YouTube, I realized I was still subscribed to nearly two dozen dead channels. Meanwhile my recommended videos are all based on the weird stuff I've been digging up for the kids. 

Many years ago, I used YouTube to find new music. Independent creators with few outlets still use it to showcase their talent, and you don't even need to know how to play any musical instruments; you need only to know what you want it to sound like, and the patience to use any of the many digital tools available.

The result is a lot of musicians out there that don't pander to the lowest common denominator, and my musical tastebuds were always satisfied. 

However...

In the intervening years, the algorithm has changed, and my kids would ask me to find things for them. The result is that it thinks I want to see politics and gameplay videos. I don't even know how to massage the system to get my old feed back.

The great candy heist

So while my wife may be brilliant, my son, my thirdborn, is calculating and methodical. I don't know how, but he found the hidden candy. 

He doesn't even know I have a blog, so we can't blame that. In fact, I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what blogging is.

I don't know how, but he found the candy stash. He was careful enough to hide the candy wrappers, and was only found out when eventually caught red handed. His overconfidence was his undoing.

So now the wife is bummed that she has to actually buy Christmas candy.

Twelvelection day

So my son turns twelve today, and it's also election day. My kids take their birthday off of school, but he had it by default, so had to share it with his siblings.

His mother kept him home on Friday to make up for it, but whatever. 

Every time an election comes around (it's the midterms this year) it feels more and more like a New Years countdown, but I don't know if I'm going to cheer when it ends.

The neighbors

My backyard neighbor's two year old daughter went marauding across lawns, and was quickly absorbed into the menagerie of rampaging youths occupying my senses. Honestly I'm proud at how quickly they adapted their styles to accommodate this pint sized newcomer.

I met these neighbors when they first moved in, four years ago. But as the length of my yard is, well, long,  I didn't see them much seeing as I don't generally spend much of my time back there. Getting to know the neighbors is always nice.

Also, it's unseasonably warm. We're still in short sleeves here.

The great candy theft

My wife is oddly brilliant.

So the kids go out on Halloween and spend themselves getting candy from strangers. But once they tucker out and nod off for the night, she pilfers a heavy percentage of their generic, non-Halloween marked candies. She hides it away in a stash that comes out later, much later.

It appears in their Christmas stockings. She even has a set of Valentine tins they open every February that get filled to the brim from their own candy bags. She once thought to stretch it through Easter, but felt it would be a bit thin.

I'm not sure if I should be amazed or horrified. One day one of my kids might find this blog, and they might find this entry. If that day should ever come, take it up with her.

Procession

Life is moving along. The kids go to school, muddling their way through public academia. I go in to work like nothing is wrong, making sure the red numbers on my chart turn black before the dates approach. I'm training someone else to do it, but not full time as we still need to hire more staff for the main line.

I haven't told any of my coworkers what's going on in my life. Honestly I don't want to have that conversation. So I go in pretend everything is normal. I realize work feels pretty normal, because the few people that know (of course the management knows when I take time off for it, they're incredibly supportive) won't talk about it because they don't want anyone overhearing.

Suddenly I like going in to work. It's become a high point of my life, because I pretend everything is just fine, and I'm amazingly good at fooling myself.

Underwhelming

Ok, I'll just come out and say it. Everything I've ever seen heard and read about chemo says it's a horrid nightmare that's worse than the cancer. We sat there for seven hours while they swapped out different drugs, told jokes, and mused over what kinds of hats would look good on her.

We went home and, well, not much. She sent me out for benadryl. The big side effect she felt was from the steroid they give you when they don't know if you're going to be allergic to one drug or another. She napped a lot. Past that, everything was boringly normal. I spent the entire weekend waiting for the other shoe to drop. She's asleep right now, and I'm staring at a shoe in the air waiting, wondering why it hasn't dropped yet. If I start to think it's all going to be ok, it's going to drop, but it's going to be a clunky boot and it's going to land in my breakfast.

Distracted keyboarding

I was going to write about how I went to RetroGameCon this weekend. They hadn't hosted since 2019 and everyone missed it. Same overpriced merch, a few rarities, a collection of indie game developers, voice actors, a large host of classic consoles in a big free play area.

I bought my ticket back in April, when they made the announcement. It was five weeks later when my wife made her unfortunate discovery. And her treatment is this week Thursday, so I took my non refundable ticket and went to the convention.

I met more than a few old friends, found a few things to bring home, generally had a good time. I simply couldn't get over the looming specter of 

next week

hanging over my head. 

My dear wife said it felt like floating down a river, and while everything is calm right now, we're headed for a waterfall. She thought it was oddly fitting when I started quoting The Emperors New Groove.

Cool weather camping

So I finally got back to Bowman Lake. I like how empty it is, but going at the end of September was a treat.

It was cold.

I knew it was going to be cooler than my usual July trip, but I also forgot that it's cooler down there than it is at home. I wasn't uncomfortable, no. I just spent the weekend with the subtle reminder that I wish I had a hoodie.

Whatever.

The kids enjoyed themselves, at least I think so. They didn't complain as much, and didn't whine about wanting video games as much. 

They always fall asleep early on these trips. They get worn out pretty easily, leaving me alone with my wife and a campfire. Those are always the best.

The endless illness

Last week Friday, I had this odd thought that I needed to leave work to pick up my daughter, who had vomited at school. Several hours later, I got a call saying as much.

This morning, I got a call from the school to pick up my son, who was feverish and nauseous. As I picked him up, I thought I'd have to pick up his older brother for the same reason. Several hours later, I had to do exactly that.

It took my daughter two days to recover, so I'm expecting the same. What this means is that I'm going to be missing some work. That in itself isn't so bad, I'm ok with it. The problem is there's certain paperwork that only three people can do. One of them just up and left a few months ago, and the other is on vacation for two weeks. That leaves just me, and this stuff is time sensitive. 

Friday, I got the call just after noon, paperwork is always done by then. Today, I had it done just before the school called. (Sometimes it takes very little time, freeing up my day for more satisfying work).

My wife works 9:30-1:30 while I work 7-3:30, and she can't leave work the same way I can. So I'm going to see how fast I can get it done tomorrow morning before I have to leave to manage sick kids. I'm considering going in early, I mean they gave me a key. It's weird to realize I'm thinking like this.

And when did I develop this precognition regarding my offsprings illnesses?

The weird box

Ok, so I ordered something online (as we frequently do in this day and age), and it arrived in a box much larger than it needed. I was expecting this, because it was frequently mentioned (and pictured) in the user reviews. So when this oversized box stealthily arrived on my porch (I was sitting right by the window, they should not have been able to move something that large so... unseen) I hastily opened it so as to dispose of said box (A large cardboard box? In a house full of children? Madness I say) when to my surprise a proverbial Matryoshka appears. Another box, sealed, complete with UPS label, was sitting inside the oversized box. 

They shipped from the same city, but when I checked the tracking it only said "on the way". It also had warning stickers about batteries and it's addressed to a wireless company, so I can imagine it's probably someone's cell phone.

As much as I like to solve a mystery, I'm not opening the box. I'm taking it to a UPS store (It's a Saturday, the  as soon as they open. I don't want someone else's cell phone. Or tablet. Or hotspot. Nope, do not want. I don't need that noise, or hassle. I can imagine whoever is expecting this battery laden parcel probably doesn't want to deal with losing it, either. 

What an odd thing.

Informational firehose

Having four kids in the public school system, I'm constantly amazed at the sheer volume of information they're sending home with the kids. Not just what they send home, but the never ending emails. The emails telling me to log in to the oddly named systems to check the messages on them.

What bugs me is most of the information is either redundant or useless. But if I dare not check a message, that's where the important stuff will be. It's a gambit to see how much of my time they can waste.

Bad news

My wife has cancer.

Ok, I can say more than that. It's breast cancer. They already did a biopsy, and there was no sign of cancer in the nearby lymph node, but we haven't heard back about the biopsy on the tumor itself. The doctor (with his 40+ years dealing with this type of cancer) is optimistic, so I'm going to go with that.

The timing, however, is pretty horrible considering I just attended two funerals in the last month for people who lost a fight with cancer. Meanwhile, I choose to be optimistic.

And so went another

 https://obits.syracuse.com/us/obituaries/syracuse/name/r-stuetz-obituary?id=36367062

Kent Stuetz was one of those guys I've known pretty much my entire life. He moved into the area in 1991, and his kids were my age. So of course I would meet this man that was my parents age. He taught my primary class, and as I aged into the youth program he also moved up and taught there. Later he was my bishop during the latter years in the program. Of course he kept being my bishop into my adulthood, afterward switching into sunday school teacher for years. After I moved out of the ward (and in with my new wife) he wound up in stake callings, and continued to find himself in some sort of stewardship position.

He was my Mister Feeny, and it's weird realizing that.

I also annoyed him... a lot. Of course there were times when we were teasing each other, but I'm talking about when he knew I could do better, but wasn't. He didn't like to admit it, but he held me to a high standard, and was annoyed when I didn't live up to it. 

I should have been a pall bearer. I had a lot of experience letting him down.

(If I didn't tell at least one joke, he'd have been annoyed yet again)

Anniversary

As of this past Thursday, the wife and I have been married for sixteen years. Our marriage is old enough to drive in New York.

We went on a Thousand Islands boat tour. We stopped at Boldt Castle, and it was absolutely fabulous. I know the castle itself was restored and furnished only within the past few decades, but they used period accurate furnishings, as well as actual furniture from the Boldt estate. I was impressed.

We also saw Rock Island Lighthouse, which wasn't as ornate, but still impressive nonetheless. How someone gets a job at a gift shop on a tiny island, I guess you have to know people.

From start to finish it was a wonderful experience. The scariest part was leaving our two older boys at home (my sister watched the two little ones). They've been home alone before, but not for the entire day.

A pair of milestones in one day I suppose.

We put the FUN in funeral

Ignore the title, I did nothing of the sort. It was a somber and dignified event, even though I felt the slightest bit out of place.

It was a 'Mass of Christian burial', which is a fancy way of saying it was a full blown Catholic mass. I'm not Catholic, not even a little, so I was a bit lost on the ceremony, and there was a lot of it.

The older I get, the more dead people I know, and I don't know if I'll ever get used to it.

Life and Death

My grandfathers girlfriend died this morning.

https://www.faroneandsoninc.com/obituaries/Joanne-Heisler

My grandmother has been gone over twenty years now, and my Opa was, apparently, a fast mover, because he was with Joanne for just about twenty years.

She hadn't been doing too well. She lost both of her sons within the past year, and cancer decided it was her turn. I got the call this morning, and it changed my plans. My brother and I headed over and helped him take care of things. The house was a revolving door of near family that made no small motions to get things taken care of.

Calling hours, funeral, and the endless paperwork. Some say we live in a democracy, I know we live in a bureaucracy.

The other campers

So my son is going to a boys camp this week, just like he did last year. He's bringing his younger brother along, and the timing is just so perfect. 

You see, my wife is also going to a girls camp this week as one of the adult leaders. I'm taking some time off work so I can be home with my two younger kids, who are no trouble at all.

It's going to be so quiet.

Not in the woods

I've been camping once this summer, and it was late spring, before the kids even got out of school. Everything got so busy. The kids had swim lessons for six weeks. Their last lesson is this week, but next week is just as busy. Then the next.

We have another camping trip planned for October. I like being out in the cool weather anyway.

Yearly lung thing

This is the third July in a row that I've had some lower respiratory ailment. It's become a tradition; someone brings home a mild cough that bothers them for a day or so, and I'm laid up for a week with fluid in my lungs.

I'm going to isolate myself the entire month of July next year, just to see what happens.

The humidity

The air is so thick it's getting D's on math tests.

The air is so wet if you spin your hands around, you can wring it out.

It's so humid I left a dry sponge outside and it was soaked in seconds.

It's not raining but I haven't had to water my garden all week. 

I ran out of jokes, it's too hot and humid to think.

Patched up

The numbness fading, I notice I can't run my tongue between my teeth as well as I could this morning. The sharpness against my mouth is conspicuously absent.

I had a cold drink, and only half my mouth felt cold. That's so disconcerting, but I know why, so it's not that disconcerting. I haven't been able to eat certain foods with half a tooth sitting there, and this morning was no exception, so I'm hungry. But not being able to feel half of my mouth gives me reason to delay eating, as I'd rather not wind up chewing through my own cheek.

I've had enough smoothies for now.

I tried having a bowl of ice cream the other day. One bite and it taught me just how sensitive it was. My son took care of the rest for me. I need less caustic comfort foods.

Swim lessons

Ever since we moved in, we've been taking the kids to swim lessons in the summer. Then, for some reason, they didn't have swim lessons available for some reason. Two years later, they're back at the pool. 

Two because the pool they did swim lessons at was closed due to a broken filter pump with no replacement parts available until late fall, but whatever.

The first session, all the kids had their lesson at the same time, right before free swim started. They would spend half the day at the pool. Now, because they're in different levels, the lessons are staggered throughout the morning. It would be annoying if the pool wasn't a 2 minute drive from home.

The kids could walk if it wasn't a busy road with no sidewalk. But nooooooo

One bite

Did you ever take a bite of something, and it crunched so hard to had to apologize to your mouth? That bone rattling jackhammer sensation that feels like a woodpecker attempting a root canal just happened to be a filling breaking in my mouth.

Ok, rewind. When I lived in Buffalo, I needed a filling, the first one ever. One of my friends was a dental student, and just happened to need to do that exact type of filling for one of his exams. I get free dental work, he graduates. It's win-win. It's an old school silver filling, but I wasn't about to complain. Fast forward to a couple years ago, and my professional, owns their own practice dentist determines I need another filling. Over the years it's been three of them.

My oral hygiene may not be that great.

So I get these three fillings done, and two of them have come out. The first one to come out was just last year. The second was just now. They can't see me to fix it until next week Thursday. I have to deal with a nice sharp tooth and a constant ache because this practice only has one dentist.

I've lost faith in this. That old school silver filling has been unnoticeable since day one. The three I've had in since have always called attention to themselves, whether because they sit too high and I have to go back, or they quit and leave.  My dental student friend is completely inactive on social media, and I'd have to go through a lot of red tape to go back to the dental school, so here I am... waiting.

What the SCOTUS did 2

 Aw shoot, they're overturning everything, aren't they?

What the SCOTUS did

While I don't often take my socio political thoughts into a public forum, the Supreme Court shut down New York State's concealed carry requirements as a violation of the second amendment.

I never carried, or tried. It was never my thing, but I'm not a fan of the government telling me what I can and can't do. so I'll take it. This court is pretty lopsided, so I guess we'll see where this goes.

Old messengers

Some days, and I find their approach with decreasing frequency yet increasing melancholy, I find myself wishing for the old communications.

I could open AOL instant messenger and chat with people again. It's weird, really it is. Once everyone got cell phones, texting replaced instant messaging. But we didn't always swap numbers, and some of us didn't connect on social media. And some of us took for granted that it would be there, with friends willing to chat.

What I'm saying is, I wish I could open MSN messenger again and chat with the people I lost over time. Hop onto AIM and ask how they've been. Because while a good number of us have managed to find each other again over the years, I'm finding that, well, we're not all alive, either.

The absent phone

While I've consistently had a cell phone since 2004, my phones have only been "smart" since 2010, give or take. While I had a tendency to keep every old phone of mine, all my old tech was purged in the great move of 2014. While the loss of the flip phone archive was almost sad, what I found since was that I haven't had any outside pressure in ridding myself of my older smart phones.

Only one was removed, and that's because I gave it to someone that needed a phone. The rest just went into a drawer. There's something unusual about pulling out one of your old phones and powering it back on after a few years. Did you know Twitter used to have a widget on Android? My old LG Ally still has that widget, never to update again. 

So I got a new phone recently. The old one was having issues, so I bit the bullet and replaced it. The trade in offer, which I usually ignore, was... substantial. I actually traded it in. They cloned my data from old to new, hit the factory reset, and I was on my way.

Except not all the data transferred. An app that I keep notes with wasn't there, and when I redownlaoded it, the notes were gone. In times past, I would have gone to the old phone and moved it over manually. This time it was gone. Gone forever.

I have to admit, that's annoying. Fortunately, most of it wasn't what you'd call 'mission critical'. That stuff is kept on a google calendar. Love them or hate them, they're wildly convenient. 

I think it was my son that was the most disappointed. Even my old phone would have been a decent upgrade from the basic model we gave him. Oh well.

The SEEDS

 

So, my wife wanted to grow a a very specific variety of squash this year, and no local supplier had any seeds or plants. I can deal with that, I just ordered some online.

Back on April 16.

I figured four weeks was enough lead time to get the seeds before planting. Once the order was placed, they said it might run a little late. My gut told me to find another supplier, so I did. The other supplier had a packet of seeds in my hand within a week.

I spent the entirety of a Saturday morning carefully arranging various seeds and seedlings across a moderately vast field of reasonably conditioned dirt. Within a week, all the seeds had sprouted. Another week, and I had nice bushy little plants.

I planted four weeks ago. The garden is tall in some places and lush in all. The peppers even have tiny little vegetables already.

The first seed packet I ordered finally arrived today.

At odds

Throughout my life I've heard the phrase "My desire to stay sane is at odds with my desire to stay informed". When I was younger it didn't make sense, but when things started going crazy, I *had* to stay on top of things. I needed to be ahead of the curve. 

Not for myself, I have kids. If the world is going crazy, I need to make sure I'm ready for it. When people started panicking as the Covid shutdowns began, I wasn't worried because I already had extra food in my house. But things kept getting worse. The story kept shifting. (I could go on at length about that, but... not now)

I'm embarrassed at how long it took me to realize what that phrase really meant. I realized I had to shut out nearly all of the hype, stop doomscrolling, and simply be prepared for literally anything. I realized I can be slightly insane and a lot happier at the same time.

New old movie

So the wife and I went out to watch the newly remastered directors cut of the terribly named Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

Let me skip my usual blabbering commentary. The new CGI was amazing. Where they cleaned up was good. The script was still slow with lots of filler. The costume designer needed to be shot.

Out of a cannon. Into the ocean.

LOOK AT THAT GUY. Why is he wearing a LEATHER HELMET WITH A CHINSTRAP in a SPACESHIP. I mean, the uniforms were anything but (casual Friday, on a Monday? Bring on the polo shirts), and pale blue was everywhere, but... there's no excuse for this guy. Like at all.

↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑

That's him officer, that man right there.

Music dearth

Back in college, I was always hearing other people's music. I could easily dismiss most of it (mass produced pop garbage), but found many, many gems. It was my golden for music.

I graduated nine years ago, and it's been pretty quiet ever since. The first two years after, I worked with the public and kept up with many of my university colleagues, but once I moved out of Buffalo it dried up. Turns out I just suck at finding music. Even the YouTube algorithm has changed, steering me away from indie artists and toward... whatever garbage they're pushing.

No, I'm not going back to college to solve this.

The District

Guess what the wife wanted for Mothers day?

A weekend in Washington DC.

Since her kids couldn't afford it, and lacked basic planning skills, I took the lead while they took the credit. It was a shorter visit, leaving on Friday and returning on Sunday.

Of course, it started to rain just as we were outside Syracuse. The rain followed us all the way down. That combined with the spaghetti mess of a highway system that surrounds the nations capitol and a six hour drive took us eight. Fortunately, we only planned to arrive on Friday, not do anything. 

Saturday, the main (and first thing in the morning) event was the open house of the Washington DC Temple. I was taken there when I was four and remember very little. The wife was there as a baby and remembers exactly what you'd expect her to.

It was amazing.

Afterward, we went to the air and space museum. The one with the space shuttle. Ok, I knew it had a space shuttle, so I wasn't surprised by it. What got me was... everything else. Once we arrived, I had a clear shot of Discovery pointing right at me. A quick glance at a map showed silhouettes of the other aircraft. I didn't recognize most of them, but the one in the center was unmistakable. The SR-71 Blackbird. 

My wife wasn't impressed. "It's a black airplane" Ok, she may have been a little impressed, but clearly lacked my enthusiasm. 

The National Archives was where my son Z wanted to go. He wanted to see the Constitution (he also wanted to read it). You can imagine his disappointment when he couldn't read it. I had to explain that it was written in an old writing style called 'cursive'. He was happy enough when we got him a printed copy. 

It rained the entire day. 

Sunday morning it finally stopped raining, and we walked the National Mall. My normally rambunctious kids felt the solemnity of the Lincoln Memorial, choosing to frolic slowly and silently. They kept thinking the Washington Monument was much closer, not realizing just how tall it was. We walked much and saw much.

Then I drove much, much faster getting home than we did heading down.

Cardiac silver lining

Quick followup:

I removed the joy from my diet and replaced it with vegetables. Sometimes I'm just hungry and whenever I reach for something I know I like, the label tells me why I was having trouble before. So instead of eating anything, I'll just be hungry for awhile.

Anyway, in two weeks I dropped 15 pounds. It's visible in my face and I'm down a pants size. I thought it would be harder.

smrt watch

I got a smartwatch for my birthday in 2014. It was a Samsung Gear 2 Neo, and getting notifications on my watch was novel and convenient.

Right after Thanksgiving in 2019, the wifes phone MELTED when it was charging, and its replacement came with a Samsung Gear S3. She didn't want it, and my Gear 2 couldn't charge any more  (rust on the exposed contact points - there's your big design flaw)

Since then, this watch doesn't know what it wants to do. For a year it was fine, no problems. Then a forced software update pushes its way through, and the battery life drops so precipitously I needed to bring the charger to work. It was only after I started to look for a replacement that the battery problem went away on its own.

It managed for another year and a half after that. Then it just stopped responding. Sure it would vibrate when a call came in, but it wouldn't light up. I still needed to grab the phone to see who was actually calling. But the fact that it didn't want to wake up was growing. I could tap it, spin the bezel, and nothing would happen. I had just assumed it died.

I took it off for a week, considering if I even wanted a smartwatch any more. Once I decided I was done with them, I noticed it was lighting up every time a notification came on my phone. It decided it wanted to live.

My watch is a teenager.

Seven

My daughter turned seven today. She skipped school while her mother took her shopping for new clothes. Then she hung out with me and played video games. She's not normally the video game type, but I suppose she likes Animal Crossing.

She spent herself so hard she fell asleep early.

Cardiac misery

I went to the doctor about my shoulder. You see, it shouldn't hurt when I'm not doing anything. That was back in January. I had a long run of physical therapy, and it solved most of the problem. A cortisone shot took care of the rest.

That's not what I'm here to rant about. They took my blood pressure, and it was high. That's when I let it out.

"It's always high. Every time I come in anywhere, they check it and it's high. It was so high once I was sent to the hospital. They kept me there all day, ran every test, and found nothing. Even went back for more tests, came up with nothing. It's just always high"

That got a few looks. Two seconds later (yes, it was that fast) they pulled up a history of my blood pressure on previous visits. The NP, as battle hardened as she was through years of looking at sterile charts, actually broke character and looked genuinely worried. A few vials of blood were taken and shuffled off to the lab. The next day, I got a call about how, apparently, I'm about five minutes away from a heart attack.

I might have expected that if I was overweight, or had a nasty junk food habit that would lead to being overweight, but, I don't. I spoke with a dietician (that's where my hyper literate wife rolled her eyes. She reads about 10 books a year about nutrition and health, and is super healthy by herself, but I digress), and it seems there's very little I can do to change my diet. Of course, I still have to make those small changes before we can take any further steps.  Meanwhile, I have to try to not die between now and May 17.

I would think it was all bunk if I didn't feel like there was a problem before they did the blood work.

State of the blog

How long have I been doing this?

If you're new, you probably looked to the right and saw the dates going back to 2008. That's when I started this particular blog, after moving away from the built in blog feature in MySpace.

Yes, I used the blog feature in MySpace. In fact, I was sad when I discovered all that data was lost. 

Prior to this, I had a blog on Xanga of all places. I didn't even know it existed until it was introduced to me by some friends that also thought about blogging. 

Fun fact: none of them blog. At all.

But let's go back even further. Go back thirty years. I started writing in a journal regularly back in the sixth grade. Those, thankfully, are hiding in a dark corner of my house. I've mostly gotten over the crippling fear of people reading the things that I write. I say mostly because I'm doing this on the internet.

For a couple years, they would automatically import from here to Facebook as a note, but they killed that feature without warning. I never bothered doing it manually, because I didn't care.

So going back to my lack of fear. Let's be honest, there are probably like three people reading this anyway.

Out like a ham

So many unusual sayings about the year. With March it's "In like a lion, out like a lamb" which made no sense to me growing up, because every lion I've ever seen was always just sitting around while everyone else busied themselves. Meanwhile every lamb was always on the move, and wouldn't shut up.

I guess when the saying was first coined back before lions were always stuffed in zoo's, and lambs needed to be quiet to stay alive.

Either way, it doesn't fit the March climate any more. More like, in like a lion, out like a lion that hasn't quiet left yet, hang on it'll be another week.

Teenager

My oldest son turned 13 today. I already got it all. All the people going on about how "He's a teenager now, uh oh!"

Yea, he's been hungry and moody for awhile now. It's not like flipping a switch. 

Birthdays that fall on a weekend, or on a Monday or Friday, they always turn into a birthday weekend. One event on one day, another event on another. Usually any extended family that wants to visit happens that Sunday afternoon, but still..

 These kids are really milking it.

Amazonian footwear

Years ago, I found these shoes I like. Just a simple slip on loafer I wear around the house. When they need replacing, I would find the same ones online and just buy them again. I had a good thing going.

Until something changed.

I bought a replacement. I tried mixing it up by getting a different color. They arrived, and felt oddly stiff. I thought it was just because they were new, but the feeling persisted. Until eventually they hurt just standing in place. Back they went. I thought perhaps this slight variant was different.

When my preferred color was back in stock, I ordered a pair. They had the same problem. No longer were they comfortable, but quite the opposite. Someone, somewhere, started cheaping out on the production line. Now I need to find a new shoe that's actually comfortable.

First world problems.

Holiday contrarian

I like the holidays where you get the day off work. I don't work retail, so I actually get those (hey, I suffered enough working in hotels). For the other, random holidays, there is always a color.

Valentines day red, St Patricks day green, the orange and black of Halloween, I could go on. Or not, I think that covers it. Whatever.

I have my work clothes. I don't wear just my regular clothes, not with the various substances that might otherwise ruin them. I had a weeks worth of shirts that were, after a few years, wearing down. So I found a new shirt on Amazon. The look suited me, so I bought one.

Then I just bought four more. I didn't like having to pick what to wear, so I figured I'd just wear the exact same thing to work every day. Lots of people do it. It's been a few months and it's been working exactly as I expected. But this week, I discovered a problem.

The shirts are green. 

Now that's not normally a problem, but I'm a contrarian. I deliberately don't wear the holiday color, but it's never obvious. I had a red shirt, but never wore it on Valentines day. When asked why I didn't, I would always look at my shirt and give a noncommittal shrug. 

But St Patrick's day requires green. At this point, I've been wearing the same green shirt every day for several months. If I wore the same shirt, I would break my streak of non commitment. Otherwise, I could dig out one of my older shirts and be the contrarian I always was, but it wouldn't be subtle. No, it would be glaringly obvious. 

I backed myself into a corner. No matter what I did, my coworkers had something on me. I took the high road, wore the green shirt, and just laughed at myself when they brought it up.

Always worse

Go figure.

So back in the day, if an appliance broke, you'd have to call a maintenance guy. He'd come out in a day or so, diagnose the problem, figure out what parts need to be ordered (unless they, by some magic, had one in their truck), then a week or so later they'd have the part and it would be fixed.

For almost as much as the cost of the appliance.

Once I figured out what part needed replacing, I had it in two days.  Problem is solved. The bigger problem, however, is the floor. The leak was under the dishwasher, and didn't show up until it filled in a part of the duct it was directly over. It had apparently been leaking a long time.

So now I need to have my kitchen floor redone. Sub-flooring, too. Gotta go deep with this one. The wife is going to love having new floors.

Leaks and maintenance

I have a problem.

This is the fist time I've owned a house. It's been just over five years, and various maintenance issues have been creeping up on me. Right now it's a leak in my basement ceiling whenever I run the dishwasher.

Yay.

That along with a leaky valve on the basement toilet (turn off the water to that toilet and it no longer leaks. The valve itself needs replacing, and the cutoff for it is... I dunno, somewhere else, this house is janky). 

So yea, it's been five years. That's the longest I've lived in any one place outside the house I grew up in, so whenever an issue would come up, I'd just call my landlord and it would be taken care of. I'm at a point where either my comfort zone needs to get bigger, or I need to start paying someone.

Skis

So for my wife's birthday, she wanted to go cross country skiing. She did it once in high school, and I've never even so much as held a pair of skiis.

It was awkward at first, and I didn't realize how much I'd be using my arms. There were a lot of ups and downs. I was using a different muscle group than I normally use on my (preferred) hikes.

Ok, going uphill on skis? That's straight BS. Downhill? I'm not coordinated enough to turn, so when the trail had its downhill stretches and they met curves...

I'm just gonna say that I was a victim of gravity more than a few times.

The iceover

Once again, there was a call for snow last night. Looked outside this morning and there was maybe an extra couple inches, so I headed out to work as usual. 

Turns out it was ice.

My road hadn't been cleared, but that's normal. It's a short distance to the main roads, and the highway is always clear.

Nothing was clear. It was impassable. A skating rink full of toddlers has more stability. 

I called it and slid my way back home.

Like flies

Social media, as much as it has its issues, does a great job of spreading bad news. This time, it was another high school classmate dying. There were around 400 or so in my graduating class, so I didn't know everyone, but it's become an interesting barometer. I've reflected on it more than once in this blog, but it always hits me.

Around when I got married was the time when all my friends were getting married and having kids. (I'm normally hype averse, tending to buck trends, but I couldn't let this gal go). Not long ago I was speaking with someone I've known a long time (she's around my parents age) about that, and how now all my friends are getting divorced*.

Her reply? "It's not that bad. I'm at an age where all my friends are dying"

I'll take it.

*it's not that anyone really announces it, but when you get a wedding announcement for someone you thought was already married, it tells a story. Same thing when a girl does the social media scrub, all while bragging about how much stuff she's doing 'all on her own'.

Beard accoutrements

So I've been growing a beard. It's cold out and I'm lazy, but there are political reasons behind it. Either way, that's not what I'm here to type about. It's about what I put in it.

You see my hair is naturally coarse, so I use a beard oil to soften it a bit. Works pretty well. I also have a balm that allegedly works, but I have yet to try it for very long. The problem is weather. Oil? That goes on and stays the way it is. The balm... had issues. I tried it out, then went outside.

Yea that was pretty awkward. It went from a malleable fluid to a hard wax, chunked into the hair on my face. A hair dryer and a comb combined to work it out before I could do any real cleaning.

Note to self: oil for winter, balm for summer.

Pre blizzard jitters

Once again, they were calling for a big snowstorm. Once again, I'll believe it when I see it. Here's what happens: the 100% chance of snow at 8 gets pushed to a 95% chance at 9, then a 90% chance at 10, until nothing happens. That describes 9 out of 10 EVERYBODY PANIC IT'S GONNA BLIZZARD snowstorms we get around here.

It was going to start Thursday night. At 8:15, I got a notice that school the next day was cancelled. I looked out the window and saw... nothing. It wasn't snowing at all. I won't say it was the wrong decision, because by morning there was a fresh 10 inches on the ground and apparently it came down fast enough that the plows weren't able to keep up.

I maintain a strict "believe it when I see it" attitude when it comes to the weather, and I suffer from a huge case of hype aversion, so it drives me irrationally crazy when the panicky crowd is right.

Social media post mortem

So I went through my Facebook and noticed a lot of stale. Like a lot. Various fan and meme pages that haven't posted anything in years, years I'm telling you. Pruned, unliked and unfollowed. It wasn't just liked pages, these dated back from when people became fans. I never thought I used social media to such an extent, but I suppose after fifteen years it adds up.

I looked it up. That really does seem like a long time.

But it wasn't the dead meme pages that caught my attention. It was the dead people. I suppose the number of people that I know that stopped living over that time frame isn't any higher than average, but as with the meme pages, it adds up.

What's the past-tense of doomscrolling?

Power corrupted

My desktop computer developed a strange, almost squeaking sound. A light squeal that would crop up every so often. Load up any particular program and it would squeal at me for a little bit, then stop. An intermittent noise that I never could pin down. 

I couldn't run some software because it would be non stop, and it would drive me crazy. Other applications wouldn't trigger it at all. I could find no pattern to this. High or low CPU usage, GPU, RAM use, it vexed me. Then about a week ago, the noise started again, but this time it didn't stop.

This didn't drive me as crazy as you might think: my office is in the basement, and I don't do much down there in the winter. It's cold down there.

I started looking at what components were replaced and when, checking the date stamps on this desktop of Theseus. I realized the power supply was a bit dated. And it was right at the limit for what I'd been running lately. Sticking my head into a computer case that's currently on isn't generally recommended, but it did the job. 

Replacing the power supply not only fixed it, but I realized just how acclimated I'd become to that noise. It was so subtle at first, so intermittent, it was easily ignored. My ears had become the frog in a pot. I didn't realize I had turned it on it was so quiet.

Snow timing

So it snowed last night and a fair bit today. It wasn't a lot of snow, but it was... well it was mostly ice. Then the wind kicked in. Took me awhile to clear my car off, then I started chopping the icy snow off the driveway. 

Then my arm told me to stop, the hard way.

The kids already had the day off school due to a federal holiday. What a waste of a snow day.

Zoom sucks

So, I'm no good at meetings. At all. I take in 100% of what I read, and 10% of what I hear. I could never attend parent-teacher conferences because while they were talking, nothing was sinking in. Any kind of meeting, I would sit down and immediately lose focus.

I try, really I do. But once it starts, I hear the first thing they say, maybe the second, then why is there a line in the wall like that? Some defect from installation, or was it damaged later? Maybe it's a deliberate style choice, I wonder if there are other lines in that same pattern in the-

You see where I'm coming from? Virtual meetings are the worst. There's even less of the people to try catching my attention.

Send me an email. I'll actually get all the information you're trying to convey.

The little furnace that wouldn't

Furnace went out on me last night. A kerosene heater and one electric space heater kept the place warm until a tech could come out this morning.

The problem was embarrassingly simple, and fixed in minutes. I could have done it myself, but my lack of knowledge on gas heaters was absolute. I know enough about electric and plumbing to tinker around, and mistakes were shocking and soggy, but gas? Nope. Not even gonna try. 

Honestly I just spent $200 to learn about flame sensors.